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;a date loop
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Welcome you low lives to a boring day of a High School Girl and myself the greatest spirit bound to this fool before me.
;p
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Welcome you low lives to a boring day of a High School Girl and myself the greatest spirit bound to this fool before me. The mortal you see before you is labeled Hirasawa Yui. ;bShe is a high school girl who doesn't achieve good grades and has a problem with concentrating when trivial things catches her by surprise.
;p
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She is clumsy and spaces out quite often which makes me sad that the human race has been reduced to...;bthis.
;p
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She is clumsy and spaces out quite often which makes me sad that the human race has been reduced to...this.
"Ehehehe..."
;bDid I tell you? ;bHer favorite hobby is eating but surprisingly she does not gain weight. ;bRecently I have managed to pull this idiot out from the light music club in order to get her Hyped about the Grail War.
;p
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This mortal has a easy carefree nature and possesses incredible concentration only when hyped, ;bthough this is only limited to one subject at a time. ;bShe totally neglects any other things in the process, ;bto the point of forgetting anything she has learned beforehand.
;bThat is to say Magic isn't excluded in the equation. ;bBut despite all this, ;bthe idiotic mongrel is devoted to winning the Grail War and practices how to kill enemy Magi day and night.
;bTo reward the relentless training/sparring I have forced on the fool who survived even my Noble Phantasms I've allowed her ;b3 Wishes.
;p
This is her first wish. ;bTo go and participate in a battlefield modern day mongrels call ;ba blind date.
;bI can already sense this pointless battle experiences would do less than my personal tutorial in the art of killing. ;bBut alas, ;ba King does not take back his words thus so be it.
;bI will tolerate with this miserable affair in spiritual body next to this low life.
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Upon crossing the bridge, Yui brought us to an open space with little people on sight. ;bDespite my training the girl proves to have a legendary thick skull, ;bleading me to a place that can get us sniped easily. ;bI am tempted by irritation to impale the fool who dares challenge Yui in this so called blind date the moment they show themselves. ;bBut due to my oath I must observe without interfering.
;p
Before my level of irritation reaches new heights while waiting a young man approached Yui in a casual smug manner. ;bHe is so smug that it makes me want to turn him into a swiss cheese.
;p
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Before my level of irritation reaches new heights while waiting a young man approached Yui in a casual smug manner. He is so smug that it makes me want to turn him into a swiss cheese.
"Huh? My blind date is you?"
The smug young man opens his mouth spitting out garbage. ;bBut for some reason Yui stares at him without being as repulsed as I am. ;bApparently this mongrel is a popular man to women of this era but to me he is a speck of cow shit.
;p
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"Ah.. um Hi Matou-kun! I'm Hirasawa Yui from class 2-B."
;bWhy isn't she avoiding the cow shit? ;bAny normal human logic would be to walk away from it as quickly as possible.
;b"I'm happy that you came today."
;p
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"That stupid woman. She promised that I would have a good chance to pair up with Toh..."
;bHis smug arrogance pisses me off. ;bSo much that I may have leaked a sudden outburst of my killing intent in the physical world around us without realizing.
;p
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"That stupid woman. She promised that I would have a good chance to pair up with Toh..."
His smug arrogance pisses me off. So much that I may have leaked a sudden outburst of my killing intent in the physical world around us without realizing.
"AHHHH!" ;convulse
;bThe wimp shakes violently in sheer terror at the killing intent that I leaked while losing my guard. ;bI quickly regained my composure and my personal opinion about him before something else was leaked to split his head in two.
;bYui on the other hand seemed immune. ;bWas it due to our daily sparring session with her life on the line? ;bMy opinion of her marginally improved. ;bYui appears to have some redeeming qualities as a mongrel of this day and age.
;p
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"Huh? what's wrong Matou-kun?"
;p
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"Huh? what's wrong Matou-kun?"
"Errr... Nothing. Nothing at all."
;bAfter a short pause the chicken wuss recovers from his near death hysteria and speaks.
;p
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"Let's get out of this place and go somewhere nicer. I don't feel very comfortable for some reason here."
;bAnd so we left. Taking a public transport that led to the busy city central.
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We arrived at the metropolis of Fuyuki City. ;bSo the battle begins between the clumsy girl who is an adept at being the laziest human in her year group and the Lord of Smug aka Cow Shit I know as Matou Shinji.
;bThe two of a kind idiots. ;bROE (Rules of Engagement) unknown to me I follow these two to the busiest shopping district.
;p
I felt it not too long after being summoned but... ;bThis era has too many humans. ;bUseless bags of meat their purpose to live out their lives being easy preys for creatures above their foodchain.
;bOnce I obtain the Grail which should rightfully rest in my treasury I will make short work of these failed mongrels by destroying the very World they stand on.
;bBut meantime the time indicated 12 past 1. ;bTypical time to hold a lunch break for mortals.
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"Shi..Shin...;bShinji-Kun! Isn't this place too expensive?!" ;convulse
;bHow very unknowledgeable for her. ;bThe place was a high class pigsty. ;bThe walls weren't fabricated with gold nor were the windows created to form an art or a mosaic at the least with the rarest of gems. ;bThe eating utensil offered was poorly made also not gold. ;bNot to mention the place was tiny and the servants were but few.
;bHow was such a place too expensive?
;p
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http://typemoon.us/sites/typemoon.us/files/images/Yukika%20(68).png 480px bottom
"Hahaha! This is nothing for a man like me. ;bOrder anything I will pay for this date."
;p
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"Hahaha! This is nothing for a man like me. Order anything I will pay for this date."
"Really?! ;bOh thank you Matou-kun!"
;a pigoutsound http://typemoon.us/audio/download/12667/FSN_se001.mp3
;a pigoutsound loop
;a materialize http://typemoon.us/audio/download/12605/FSN_se137.mp3
;a date http://typemoon.us/audio/download/1504/07%20-%20Time%20Together.mp3
;a killkillkill http://typemoon.us/audio/download/13719/The%20Summoned%20%28from%20FFVII%20%27%27Those%20Who%20Fight%20Further%27%27%29.mp3
...
;b..
;b.
;b2 Hours Later...
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On the desk before us is a pile of empty dishes that is steadily growing in height. ;bYui has summoned a miracle of Unlimited Eat Works that put the Smug on the defensive. ;bNice Master. ;bImbeciles should know their place in life.
;bI silently question the fool.
;b'Do you have enough money? King of Smug?'
;p
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On the other side of the table is Matou Shinji. ;bHis smugness long gone and replaced by sheer terror.
;bI do not know what his new found terror is influenced by, ;bbut Yui seems to be the cause of it as I did not do anything yet. ;bShould I be afraid that Yui is able to inflict pain and terror in ways that I cannot comprehend even with my superior knowledge?
;p
;a date stop
;a pigoutsound stop
When the receipt is passed to Matou Shinji his face turns uglier than what I thought was possible. ;bHow petty can this human be to be unable to afford a simple meal?
;p
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"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! ;bSTOP EATING YOU ;bDUMB ;bBITCH!" ;convulse
The insect crossed the line. ;bNot realizing his own uselessness for being pathetically poor, ;bhe has raised his hand against the fool who belongs to me as she is MY master.
;bWithout waiting for Yui's orders I materialize on top of Matou Shinji's shoulders.
;p
;a killkillkill loop
;a materialize play
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...
;p
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...
Needless to say. ;bMatou Shinji is horrified when he suddenly has the Strongest Servant towering over him from his own shoulders.
;bBefore he could utter anything in his pitiful defense, ;a smack play;bmy foot encased in modern day's high class leather footwear known to these mongrels as Louis Vuitton connects with his nose. ;convulse
;p
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Shinji's body flies in the air spewing blood from his horribly disfigured nose. ;bHe flies and smashes into other tables eventually coming to a halt when the tables considerably stopped his momentum.
;p
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"I wasn't meant to take form. ;bBut raising your filthy hand against Yui signed your death warrant mongrel!"
;a shoot http://typemoon.us/audio/download/13441/FSN_se174.mp3
;a click http://typemoon.us/audio/download/13330/FSN_se060.mp3
;a smack http://typemoon.us/audio/download/13499/FSN_se232.mp3
Matou Shinji was less deserving to be ripped to death by treasures beyond his wildest dreams. ;bBut I decided to make it a parting gift fit for a man of no wealth.
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;bRipple of space distorts and from it I summon greatest weapons wielded by the greatest heroes. ;b300 Noble Phantasms hover in the air waiting for the execution order.
;b"Any last words mangy cur? ;bBefore you are reincarnated to your next life of swiss cheese?"
;bI can smell him pissing his pants.
;bUnsightly scene occurs as he shakes violently like a demi worm/maggot before a Tyrannosaurus . ;bA mouse with a wet patch on his groin which looks absolutely pitiful and disgusting to say the least.
"Say goodbye to your jewels!"
;p
;a click play
Several legendary swords travel at mach speed towards Shinji's dick.
;p
;a shoot play
Several legendary swords travel at mach speed towards Shinji's dick. To name them they were Excalibur, Arondight and Gram. ;bYes they were all Holy Swords as I thought only the Holiest weapons would be able to exorcise this disgusting man's ego dirtied by his own unholy urine.
;p
;a shoot play
Several legendary swords travel at mach speed towards Shinji's dick. To name them they were Excalibur, Arondight and Gram. Yes they were all Holy Swords as I thought only the Holiest weapons would be able to exorcise this disgusting man's ego dirtied by his own unholy urine.
To finish him off I launched Ea partly by a blunder.
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Several legendary swords travel at mach speed towards Shinji's dick. To name them they were Excalibur, Arondight and Gram. Yes they were all Holy Swords as I thought only the Holiest weapons would be able to exorcise this disgusting man's ego dirtied by his own unholy urine.
To finish him off I launched Ea partly by a blunder. Like a shooting star it gracefully soared through the atmosphere and smashed into Shinji's skull.
;bAs if having three Holy Swords pinned into him wasn't overkill, ;bShinji now had a big hole through his head ;bwith his brain trailing out of the back hole made by the blunt edge of my beloved Ea.
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;a killkillkill stop ;a date loop
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"Mouuu... Gil-kun My blind date is now ruined desu."
;bUnfortunately she is right. ;bMatou Shinji as he is now cannot continue this dangerous battle of blind date that already cost him his dear life and a debt that he cannot possibly afford. ;bAs a King I must uphold my word so I...
;p
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http://typemoon.us/sites/typemoon.us/files/images/Gilly%20(21).png 480px bottom ;a materialize play
Rummaging through the Gate of Babylon I quickly take out new set of clothes that was purchased in a Gucci store some time ago. ;bI've originally bought it to wear them on the occasion of reuniting with the King of Knights but I will make it an exception here.
"A King must keep his word. ;bI will replace the wimp and proceed with this meaningless battle experiences you humans call blind date."
;b"......"
After a moments silence.
;p
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"Gilly-kun. ;bArigato~!" ;convulse
;b"You fool! Do not get too close to me!" ;convulse
;bWith my Rank A+ Charisma we exit the destroyed restaurant that is painted by blood and entrails of both Shinji and the Employees without raising anyone's alarm.
;p
The END?
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"Thanks for watching! ;bBe in tune for next episode!"
;b"Love is a Battle Field! The Royal Rumble for Shirou!" ;convulse
